I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. Do I dare tell her? | Ask Philippa

Get clear about what has changed for you and if you still want to declare your feelings, keep it light

The question I’ve known one of my best friends for more than 20 years. There has been nothing but friendship in those years. We have common interests and hobbies, I’m called uncle by her children, and we socialise frequently. Over the past year I have developed feelings beyond friendship towards her. However, due to our existing bond, I’m unsure how to approach the situation. I’ve been single for some years and happy with that. I also do not want to jeopardise our current relationship and certainly do not want to lose her as a friend. She has recently ended a long-term relationship and has started exploring dating again. We have various social engagements, both with friends and alone, planned in the coming months. I know I should address my feelings for her, but I cannot see a safe way to start the discussion without threatening our current stable friendship.

Philippa’s answer I don’t think there is such a thing as a safe way to start this discussion with her. First, take some more time to explore and understand your own feelings. Consider whether these feelings are fleeting or if they hold deeper significance.