The notion of ‘boundaries’ is a seductive metaphor for how our relationships should work – but where did it come from?
A version of this piece was first published in Parapraxis magazine
We are obsessed with invisible circles.
“Personal boundaries” – or often just “boundaries” – are nowadays seen as the hallmark of emotional maturity. Wellness influencers promise that if you clarify the line dividing you from those around you, your boyfriend will stop envying your career and start doing the dishes. Children will stay out of your home office. Friends and lovers will stop using you as a screen for their projections. As you are released from everyone else’s psychodrama, your racing thoughts will quiet, and your ability to concentrate will return. You will learn to say the word “no”, protect your time, and double your salary.
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