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I’m married to a man but have erotic infatuations with women on television | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Whether it’s fantasy or something much more fundamental, you owe it to yourself and your husband to start an honest conversation about your relationship

Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a relationship problem sent in by a reader

I am a middle-aged woman married to a man and have teenage children. My marriage is not an unhappy one and my husband and I have much in common, but it lacks intimacy these days. We’ve been together just over 20 years.

Over roughly the last five years I have intermittently developed romantic obsessions with female TV actors. These infatuations are always triggered by an onscreen same sex relationship, even if we just see a kiss. That will be enough for the obsession to take hold and sometimes last for many months (especially if there is fuel to add in the form of more episodes or online content). It may also extend to the actor themselves.

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