‘Mum lives on her own, carers provide companionship’: how one family found support for a loved one

When a brother and sister realised their elderly mother required more care than they could provide on their own, they decided to bring in professional help

Four years ago, Mark Hornby and his sister Andrea faced a situation that will be familiar to many adults with ageing parents. Their mother, Margaret Wallace, then aged 79 and living alone in a large house just outside St Albans, was becoming increasingly frail as a consequence of Parkinson’s disease and osteoporosis. Because Mark lived nearly 50 miles away, the burden of care fell largely on Andrea, who lived nearby. But Andrea found it increasingly hard to fit her mother’s care around her own job.

It’s a problem replicated all over the country. According to the ONS, there are now 3.4 million people in the UK aged 80 or over, and Age UK research has found that about 4 million people over the age of 65 have a limiting long-term illness or disability. However much adult offspring want to help their parents, the stress of combining that with the demands of full-time jobs or looking after children can become unbearable – 65% of unpaid carers struggle with their mental health, and 31% feel they are at breaking point, a survey of 2,000 caregivers by home care provider Home Instead found.

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