Readers on when it is justifiable to ostracise close family members, and the pain of being cut off by others
I read with interest your piece about “the silent treatment” as a response to conflict and thought it worth offering an alternative view that sometimes this is the only option available (The silent treatment: ‘One woman was ostracised by her husband for 40 years’, 12 December). I’m not sure that framing all people who stop talking to blood relatives as “sulkers” is necessarily accurate or helpful.
I have not spoken with my biological brother for the last 15-odd years. The basis for this was his psychological and physical abuse that not only overshadowed my childhood, but continued into adulthood, long after he should have known better. It took years of therapy to realise that I did not need to include this person in my life and I made the decision to cut ties. Despite pleas from our mother for me to “reconcile”, I have made it clear that reconciliation can only follow after an apology and acknowledgment from his end for threats, physical assaults and making me a figurative and literal punchbag, even into our 20s. Until then, there can be no grounds for a meaningful adult relationship.
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