Football Daily | Newcastle take the cherubs on a must-not-lose mini-break in Paris

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While Newcastle’s Gulf state derby against PSG is not strictly a must-win game for the Premier League side, it is certainly must-not-lose to maintain hopes of progressing to the Big Cup knockout stages. Having smashed their French hosts 4-1 in the corresponding fixture at St James’ Park, Newcastle fans would have every right to feel confident in Paris if their squad wasn’t so decimated by injuries and suspensions. The list of absentees is so long that celebrity Toon fans Ant and Dec would almost certainly get a game if they weren’t making an even bigger show of themselves in Australia helping to rehabilitate the reputation of a despicable, dinghy-obsessed demagogue.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Let’s take it easy on one of my all-time faves, the Gliding Gladiator, Dimitar Berbatov (yesterday’s Fun and Games in South America Dept, full email edition). To my recollection Berba never had any responsibility to track back, God forbid. His responsibility was to score goals which I thought he did with admirable panache” – Guy Robert.

Generally, I’m all for the use of AI and, quite frankly, in my office I’d settle for any sort of intelligence, artificial or natural. However, it was extremely disappointing to see the once-great Sports illustrated being accused of using AI to generate articles and generate fake profiles for authors while also being too lazy to even check whether they even made any sense afterwards. Thankfully, the quality of the articles, with such classics as ‘volleyball can be a little tricky to get into, especially without an actual ball to practice with’, is so poor that even Football Daily wouldn’t lower itself to using it. My office on the other hand” – Noble Francis [you say that … – Football Daily Ed].

Petr Cech posing for a photo in ‘a graveyard in Surrey’ you say (yesterday’s Memory Lane, full email edition)? Or is it a graveyard next to Baron’s Court tube station?” – Russell Packford (and 1,056 other west Londoners).

Sergio Ramos has wrongly been accused of receiving his 29th red card. It is the 30th when you count the un-awarded one for his judo tackle on Mohamed Salah in the Big Cup final” – Krishna Moorthy (and no other readers struggling to move on from 2018).

In this age of Premier League-centric largesse, let’s spare a thought for the rest of a pyramid which is the envy of the world. I present you Wealdstone’s 98th-minute winner against our despised rivals Barnet on Saturday which provoked chaotic scenes among the 2,000 home fans, emptied the technical area and inflicted a fourth consecutive defeat on the club that [Snip – Football Daily Lawyers] our ground. Wealdstone are part-time, Barnet are full-time. Delicious doesn’t begin to describe the rapture at the final whistle” – Neale Harvey.

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