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Major League Soccer enjoyed a fruitful, blockbuster summer, what with Lionel Messi taking his talents to South Beach (Fort Lauderdale actually), and dazzling the USA USA USA with his all-conquering brand of standstill football. Sadly, the party will not extend to the fall/autumn. Inter Miami did not reach the playoffs, so neither did Messi, now rumoured to be heading for the type of European loan David Beckham, Miami’s chief designer suit, once annoyed Landon Donovan with, as depicted in Becks’ hit Behind the Music series on Netflix. Further names will miss the race for the MLS Cup. Lorenzo Insigne’s Toronto FC missed out. Billy Sharp’s LA Galaxy won’t be involved and on Saturday, it was confirmed that DC United’s playoff hopes had ended.
Wayne Rooney is looking more and more like his groundskeeping, camper van-living, ‘England in Roo-ins’ Nike Write the Future 2010 World Cup commercial future self with each passing day, isn’t he? Are we approaching some sort of terminal singularity where future fictional Wayne intersects with current reality Wayne and an uber-Rooney emerges to lead Birmingham to glory? Probably not, but a man can dream” – Daniel Stauss.
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