How do I go on a date and admit I have never been intimate with anyone? I feel so ashamed of being a virgin
I am 25 and have never had sex. I have never been in a relationship, kissed anyone or even held someone’s hand in a romantic way. It has never happened for me. I feel so much shame about this, as if I have done something wrong. When people ask me why I have never had sex, I usually reply that no one has ever expressed any interest. But I hate the fact that people can sometimes tell I am a virgin without me saying so, and wonder what it is that gives it away.
The only sexual experiences I have had, I didn’t consent to. The first time a boy saw me naked was without my consent; I have been groped in nightclubs; men have asked me for sexual favours and told me that they thought of me while masturbating. But no one has ever initiated any consensual intimacy and I suppose I have been so scared of doing it wrong that I haven’t either.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
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