I am 65 and when I look in the mirror all I see is ugliness | Ask Philippa

You are mistaking the familiar refrains of your internal monologue for truth. The more you practise new messages the truer they will feel

The question Last year I turned 65 – even writing that number seems unbelievable – and while I can appreciate that I have managed to get to this age and can see the merits of life experience, I still mourn for my younger days. I spend a fortune on face creams and often sneak off at work to apply even more makeup. When I look in the mirror, I just see ugliness. Recently, I overheard a man calling me a hag. I have put on more than 3st. Now I cannot go out apart from work. I rush home. My home is lovely and safe, my three grownup children and husband try to reassure me, but look on helplessly as I just sit in silence.

I did go to the doctor, but she just offered me antidepressants and then told me that I could not turn back the hands of time and should live in the moment. I just can’t. I’m even dreading going on holiday.

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