I crave connection with my siblings – but they are toxic | Ask Philippa

Spend time with people who make you feel good – and hold your theories about your siblings more lightly

The dilemma I feel very alone in my family. I’m in my mid-50s and happily married. My parents are both dead. I have five siblings.

My mother was a narcissist, which screwed us all up. I’m years into therapy and it’s been brilliant. My self-hatred is almost behind me, and I finally feel a lot more joy. My siblings are mostly toxic to varying degrees. Two of them are also in therapy, both still experience pain which can get dumped on to me, and I’m always having to tread carefully around their reactions. This has got exhausting. The toxicity from the other three siblings has been worse; they exclude me, tell lies about me, and can just be downright nasty.

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