I find conversations with dates dissatisfying, specially when they tell me the plots of films | Ask Philippa

Just interrupt and say, ‘Sorry, I can’t bear film plots’

The question I am a woman in my 30s and I notice I can find conversation unfulfilling. When I am with new people, I find myself either having a bit of commentary in my head or doing lots of listening to their problems, as they might overshare things and I feel as if they are dumping on me. Such conversation feels unsatisfactory. This is not a feeling I get with older friends, where sharing and turn-taking is mostly natural and comfortable.

I notice that on dates someone might tell me anecdotes and I feel they aren’t connecting with me – sometimes a man will describe to me the plot of a film and I might be feeling desperately bored and be longing to be asked a question about myself or have a bit of back and forth about what is happening in the present moment. Do I have to push through that bit until I get to the comfortable conversation and parity stage?

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