I have a great job and family, but I really want to write novels | Ask Philippa

Get up very early in the morning and just write. You will make mistakes but learn from them. Don’t be in a hurry and keep taking small steps

The question I have a husband and a toddler I adore, and I have the dream job. But although the job is a dream on paper, I am finding myself unhappy in it. Now that I have the perfect career, after finally completing my PhD, having delayed it for maternity, it is somehow disappointing. I am seeing a therapist, but we are early on, and I want the happiness to come faster. The problem as I see it is that what I really want to do is creative writing; I want to write novels. This is very different from all my scientific and maths education, so I am not very qualified for it. I am fearful of failure and of my writing being poor. It seems impossible that I could ever be successful. It also feels impossible to fit it in around my child and life and work. But I also know I will never write a book if I don’t start. When I am writing I feel finally fulfilled in a way I do not at any other point in my life – except maybe when I am reading a really good book. My family is dependent on my salary alone and we want a second baby soon, so it never seems like the right time to spend more time writing or take time off to do something so frivolous. But it’s what I want to do with my life. What should I do?

Philippa’s answer Never label your calling as frivolous. You’ve got to write. Why do we put off the things that we really want to do and mean the most to us? It’s not because we’re too busy or lazy, but it’s often because of our fear of failure. Fear of failure equals procrastination. It can prevent you from even getting started. If you believe your performance says something about who you are as a person, putting off starting can feel like self-protection – it isn’t, it is self-sabotage. For the moment, forget labels like “successful” or “unsuccessful”.

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