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I just found out who my real father is. What do I do now? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

DNA tests can reveal some huge hidden secrets. Take time to process your own feelings before coming to terms with your new family tree

I’m happily married with adult children, and grandchildren. One of my children bought me a DNA testing kit and when I received the results I was taken aback to discover that the man I thought was my father was not actually my biological parent.

My parents were married for some years before I arrived and I have no siblings. My mother was a loving, kind person and growing up I was surrounded by a loving maternal extended family. My father was a “difficult” character, emotionally abusive and distant. He never told me he loved me and I know he made my mother’s life hell at times. They eventually divorced and he died some years ago. I had remained in contact with him and when he died I grieved, not so much for him as an individual but for the lost opportunities of our relationship.

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