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I miscarried, while my best friend had a healthy baby. Is it time to move on from the friendship?

It’s hard to connect if you’re not really seeing each other, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, and there are only two ways of resolving it

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After many years of waiting for the “right time” and then trying to conceive, my best friend and I became pregnant at almost exactly the same time. I miscarried at 11 weeks, while she went on to have a healthy baby.

I had to distance myself from my friend, as her growing bump was such a cruel reminder of my loss. I felt immensely guilty about it, because obviously she had done nothing wrong. At the time I thought she understood, but when I felt ready to reconnect after the baby was born, she made some comments that showed perhaps she didn’t get it at all. There was an accusation that I had abandoned her. It also felt like a selfish comment, because in all that time she had never checked in with me to see if I was OK, and I also could have done with a friend.

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