People pleasing won’t guarantee others’ wellbeing, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but it will ensure you feel resentful
I feel like I put other people’s needs before my own. The other day I went to see a film that I didn’t want to see because my friend desperately wanted to, and she’s a good and kind friend. Afterwards we went for a drink, even though I don’t really drink any more. I didn’t tell her I didn’t want to drink. I know she would have supported my decision but would also have been disappointed. I was cross with myself for drinking because I didn’t enjoy it and felt rubbish afterwards.
I give my teenage daughters lifts places, despite there being a good bus service. I go on long walks with my husband at the weekend when I’m tired and all I want to do is sit all day and read a book. I took a management position in my company because it was the next step up and I was encouraged to, but I’ve never wanted to be a manager and I now really hate my job.
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