I’d like my fiance to take my last name – is that too much to ask of him? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Have you talked to him about this? It might be a sign of something else, but either way, discussing and solving it is what marriage is all about

My partner and I are getting married this winter. But we don’t know about our last names. We are both broadly against ingrained gender stereotypes and we constantly probe where those roles are coming out in our relationships (which is a lot of work).

My preference would be for him to take my last name. Selfishly, if so many men have received this extreme act of love throughout the years, why can’t I? If I laid down some kind of ultimatum, I think he would do it, but I would prefer for him to arrive there as a place he wants to be, which is perhaps never going to happen.

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