It was love at first sight – but now she is distant and cold | Ask Philippa

You both fell for a fantasy and are now on a victim/rescuer merry-go-round that you need to get off

The question I’ve been in a six-month relationship with my girlfriend who I fell in love with the first time I met her. I feel connected to her and know she feels the same when we’ve talked about our feelings. I’ve never met anyone like her before. Unfortunately, she had a very traumatic life before she met me. I have done everything in my power to show her there are good people in the world. She has been abused by exes, cheated on and much worse, which she has told me in confidence. I am always there to support her financially, physically and mentally for whatever she needs.

She regularly goes through depressive episodes that can be triggered by even small things. Unfortunately, these have built up over time to where she is now cold with me. She will speak to me as if I’m an idiot in front of other people. I don’t call her out because I respect her. She is not physically intimate with me any more. I ask her how I can make things easier for her, but she always says “nothing”. She has encouraged me to leave our relationship. But I know from other moments and conversations that she loves me, and she hates that she’s pushing me away. I am being brought down with her. How can I get this right and help her better?

Continue reading…

About Author