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My father’s anxiety makes family visits unbearable | Ask Philippa

Instead of reassuring him, gently point out that he is frightening himself. Get your mum and sister on board with this approach

The question My parents (in their 60s) are kind and intelligent. I have no doubt they love my sister and me (in our 30s) deeply.

My father’s excessive anxiety, which is never addressed, is creating tension when we meet. Potential stressors are car journeys, crowds, planes and every aspect of travel preparation. I live abroad, so each visit includes some of the above.

Every week Philippa Perry addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Philippa, please send your problem to [email protected]. Philippa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t) by Philippa Perry (Cornerstone, £18.99). To support The Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

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