My friend talks nonstop about herself. How can I get her to listen to me? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Not being listened to is exhausting. If you want to continue the friendship, you’ll need to make your needs clear

I have a question on how to deal with my friend “V”. She is very sweet but a complete chatterbox. When we meet, she talks nonstop, usually about herself. We are both women in our early 30s and have been friends since secondary school. It is only in the last few years that I have noticed our conversations are really her monologues. She rarely asks me questions or shows much interest in what I am up to.

Things I have tried include: jumping in to say something rather than waiting to be asked (in which case, she nods and listens politely, then gets back to whatever she was banging on about before I spoke), and continuing to talk whenever she starts to talk over me (I used to just fall silent and let her take the floor). I have to say, “V, let me finish” or “V, it’s my time to speak now” (her husband has to do the same).

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