My friends are getting into debt but won’t rein in their lifestyle. And I feel embroiled | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Money is tight for many of us, but not everyone responds to this in the same way. Don’t be drawn into difficulties yourself for the sake of seeming supportive

I have a friend who has experienced a truly awful year with her husband. They have been put through it and are now in high levels of medical debt. They have a nice lifestyle which they finance with credit card debt. My partner and I generally have a much easier life than they do, but money has been a little tight for us too recently. I have had to cancel trips and say no to eating out because my partner recently lost his job and we simply don’t have the income right now.

I always feel very awkward about this as our financial situation is undoubtedly easier than theirs, and I am not at all comfortable with taking on debt. When I recently cancelled a trip we had planned with them they made comments like “just put it on a credit card!” and were not very happy. I don’t want to claim our situation is anywhere near theirs and I want to show my love and support for them, but I equally don’t want to take on debt to keep up with activities they want to do. Can you help?

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