My sister-in-law has treated my in-laws and family terribly | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

It’s not up to you to fix this, but it might be worth asking her what’s going on
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a family-related problem sent in by a reader

My sister-in-law of nearly 15 years isn’t someone I’d seek as a friend but she’s mostly enjoyable to be around. However, a couple of years ago she started making harsh claims about her parents – my in-laws, whom I adore. I didn’t agree with what she was saying but chalked it up to some sort of personal crisis and tried to be supportive, but without agreeing with her. However, not long after that she made a harsh claim against my young child and was unkind to my husband (her brother) in the process. She also decided she needed time out and told my husband she would reach out when ready.

I was so angry and hurt about the claim against my son, coupled with how terribly my in-laws seemed to be treated, that it caused major strain in our marriage; my husband (a reserved man) was trying to be understanding while watching his family feeling hurt (they had previously been solid). She contacted us again 10 months later, which felt like a ridiculously long time, and when our nuclear families got together it felt strange – we had to act as if nothing had happened.