My wife finds her mother’s rightwing rants hurtful. Should we cut her off? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

Put your relationship first and maintain a united front – and if your mother-in-law becomes too toxic, walk away

My wife is constantly made extremely upset by her mother’s behaviour, which has always been difficult but has progressed to new levels. My mother-in-law is a solitary person with no friends, although she has been married to my wife’s dad for many years. She spends entire days alone looking at rightwing websites while he is at work. The opinions she hears exacerbate her racist, homophobic views.

My wife and I are both women in our mid-30s, together for 10 years. We have good jobs, my wife in particular, and I believe lots of her mother’s anger is directed specifically towards her.

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