What if ‘ghosting’ people isn’t just rude, but psychologically harmful? | Nancy Jo Sales

A study found that 76% of people dating have either ghosted or been ghosted. Why is this considered acceptable?

When The Banshees of Inisherin became such a hit last year, I couldn’t help wondering if one of the reasons it was resonating so powerfully was that – despite being set on a fictional island off the coast of Ireland in the 1920s – it was essentially about ghosting. A man stops talking to his friend without explanation, and the emotional fallout is devastating.

In the 1920s, ghosting a close friend would indeed have been shocking. Ghosting as a social move was pretty much unheard of into the 2000s. Remember that 2003 episode of Sex and the City where Carrie is outraged that Jack Berger breaks up with her via Post-it note? “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me,” says the offending scrap of paper.

Nancy Jo Sales is the author, most recently, of Nothing Personal: My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno

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