Why am I so angry when I’m with my mother?

When you eventually experience her as a fully separate person from you, this will feel easier

The question I am angry towards my mother. I can’t remember when it started to become the norm for me to feel this way, but more and more I feel irritated, sceptical, let down and detached in her presence. I am in my early 30s and she is in her 60s.

My mother is a brilliant person. She would do anything for me or for her family. But when I’m with her I find myself numb to her issues. On the days I’m with her (I live some distance away), I feel angry and then later I feel awful, like there must be something bad about me. Growing up I was a confidante of sorts, listening to her anxieties about her relationship with Dad and how useless he is, about colleagues at work being awful to her, about her weight, about her awful childhood. Mum and Dad are still together, and I am trying to make some sort of connection with Dad now that I’m an adult.

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