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Why do I keep falling in love with totally unavailable people?

There may be unfinished business from your infancy or early childhood that you are trying to conclude by longing for something unobtainable

The question I’m at my wit’s end. I’m a 50-year-old gay man and I’m in a happy, long-term relationship. But I’ve fallen in love with a married straight guy 10 years my junior. He’s a new colleague at work. We get on well and have struck up a companionable working relationship, but my feelings for him have become deeper – and it’s agony.

I’m not an idiot. He’s married with young children and I know nothing is going to happen. I don’t think I’d even want it to, but I just can’t stop the intensity of my feelings for him. He’s a kind, thoughtful man, which somehow makes it worse. I couldn’t bear it if he found out I was secretly harbouring lustful or amorous feelings for him.

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